Nerdy Jokes

[rory917]

Theres a nerd in us all.
Lets find out if he has a sense of humour

If it wasn't for Newton we wouldn't have bruised apples!

Support your local scientist. Invest in chemical bonds.

There's no future in Time Travel

[Sakaki]

"You've created a time paradox!" Oh, it's nerdy..I swear. Though I wonder if anyone will know where it's from ^.^


Edit: And yes, it is somewhat of a joke.

[eat1more]

A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

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"Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 555-602-1023."

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Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED

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Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

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Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Did you hear about the photon in the matrix? He wasnt sure if he exisited

[Cloud731]

It's from MGS.
A nerdy joke eh...
"Let me get your number, it seems that I lost mine".
XD

[eat1more]

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

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Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.

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a oxygen atom had a threesome with two hydrogen atoms. the result: they all got wet

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who is the nicest guy in the hospital??? the ULTRA-SOUND guy

[rory917]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson ponders a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

[eat1more]

A neutron walks into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, for you, no charge

Two Hydrogen atoms were walking down the road. One said" I think I lost an electron!".
"Really", the other replied," Are you sure?". " Yes, I 'm positive."


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Mary had a little lamb.
But now it is no more.
For what she thought was H20
Was H2So4.


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What did the cowboy chemist say to his horse???
HI(HO)Ag and away!!!!
(hiho silver and away)


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What did Mr Hydrogen say to Ms
Chlorine?

Where should I stick my electron!

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Why do sub-atomic chemist never have sex??
Because when they find the right position they cant find the "momentum"?


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Why did the chemist cross the road?
Because he was trying to find the molecular mass of the chicken


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What do you call a person who gets
thrown in jail for telling dumb
jokes?

A SILICON (silly con)

[rory917]

My God wat have i started???????

[eat1more]

a chemical engineer and a Bio-Chemist jump off a 20 story tower. Who hits the ground first?

The Chemical engineer, because the Bio-Chemist had to stop and ask for directions.


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a physics teacher and a Bio-Chemist jump off a 20 story tower. Who hits the ground first?

Bio-chemist, because the physics teacher had to stop and calculate his
momentum