This Is The First Time I Wanna Die!

[Lewelynikki]

like You Read...THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I WANNA DIE! There Is This By I LikeD...I Don't Wanna See Him ever Again...Today...Today I Just Wanna Dissapear...I Ironed My Hair,Yesterday He Told Me He Loved It...And In Monday,He Promised We'd Escape From School Together On Englidh Classes...Today Was The Friends' Day...I Thought,As He Promised,That He,My Best Girl Friend,And I Would Go To Burger King...I Was The Only One That Gifted Him Sth...And Then,When We Went Out Of The School,My Best Girl Friend(Georgii) Went With Everyone To Burger King...Yukii(The Boy I LikeD,I NAMED Him Like That) Stayed To Wait Some Girls Cause They Had Some Problems And They'd Be The Only Ones Going Alone To BK...I Told Him...Georgii Is Going!!! I Know It Would Fell Bad This In A Happy Friends' Day,But I Wanna Go With My BEST Friends!!...And Kevin Said:We Never Told You To Come With Us... And Yukii Told Me: He's Right,Coldly...When We Finally Went To BK,He Sat Away From Me, And We Discussed A Lot, And He Told Me Bad Things...And He Insulted Me,Never Like That...Yesterday,I Shaved My Legs And Arms,And Ironed My Hair 20 Times And Woke Up Today To Iron It 5 More Times,Just,Wverything I Do Is For Him,Everything,I Was ALways Ther For Him...And He Hits Me A Lot Cause "He Like Doing It" And He Threats Me Bad,He Never Apologize,And Also,Today,We Escaped From School,But Not Just He And Me...With 9 Mor People....It's Ok,If you Tell Me They Are BEST Friends,But They Were Just Classmates,He Only Gave Me Away For Them...What I Always Do,I'm Always Caring About Himself,And He Never Say Thanks,Or Why Do You Do All This For Me...After All,After A Discussion,I Finished APOLOGIZING MYSELF To Him...And Now That I Think It,After Hours Of Crying And Loneliness...That I'm Tired Of Fighting For Sth Impossible,He's Not Worthy,He Will Always Be Sth Important In My Life,Cause,When He Wasn't THIS Mean,He Mad Me Feel And See Things I Didn't,But Now I Cannot Get Up,I'm Tired Of TRYING And Crying,And Being His "Hit Bag" Cause I Cannot Hold It ANymore,This Is The First Time I WANNA Die,And I Just Am Careless...I'm Tired Of Doing Everything For Others And Not Getting ANYTHING...This Is The First Time I Feel Like This...iI Don't Wanna See Him And Cry For Him Anymore...But I Love Him As Strong As I Hate Him...And I Cannot Express Myself Correctly...I'm Dead...

[Rini]

Wait. I'm lost. Who's story is this? o.o;

[Lewelynikki]

Mine ?

[Rini]

Soo, you like this guy?

He doesn't seem worth it, Lew. Really. o.o
He's mean to you... I don't think he deserves u.

[Fissure]

She has a point man. Just let it go, you have a whole life ahead of you. Don't let that one guy mess it up!

[Lewelynikki]

But I Feel...(Or I Felt) He IS...(Or WAS) THE Guy....

[Rini]

And now? That was before. This is now.
If he's treating you like.. Blahh.. Then doesn't that tell you
that he isn't the one? You're still young. You can't
be looking for "the one" yet. o.o

[Lewelynikki]

Believe Me...I FEEL It...Anyways...A Friend Of Mine Is Helping Me To Somehow Forget Him...

[Fissure]

Nah, you are wrong my young one, it always like that in the beginning. But you will laugh at this later, trust me.

[Rini]

FEEL? You have to know, hun.
You can't always believe your feelings. Sometimes, you lie to yourself.
You just want to believe that he is the one, but sometimes you
have to think about it more. Is he really? Is he going to be there for
you forever?